The Slight of Mouth Patterns are extreamly pithy comments/questions that are designed to attack the heart of a belief.
It is important to note that SoM can be used equally to reinforce an existing belief.
The origin of Sleight of Mouth patterns comes from people whom it was observed never lost an arguement. Who they were able to do this was then sythisized and model into these simple and tremendously powerful patterns.
These patterns are so powerful that a combination of three or four of them delivered in a row are enough to alter what someone believes. They are also very invasive and one risks of induceing a hostile or threatened responce if use without the proper care. This is important especially when dealing in a theraputic setting.
Note that SoM all "chunk up" to a higher level of awareness. It is also important to *ALWAYS* be cautious with these language patterns because they are very comfrontational and require a liberal use of "softeners"
Softeners
The purpose of Softeners is to a) distance yourself from the abrasive and confrontational aspect of SoM and b) ease the SoM into a more conversational format.
Examples of Softeners are
"I had a brother who used to believe <Belief> and then he realize <SoM>.
"This may sound silly but <SoM>."
"I am curious as to <SoM>."
"Let me ask you <SoM>."
"I'm just wondering...<SoM>"
In addition to Softeners you can make delivery of SoM patterns easier by establishing and maintaining rapport.
Changing Beliefs
It's been asked how does a belief change when SoM patterns are effectively used? There is no accurate evidence to precisely measure that. What can be assumed is that the belief tends to become more general and more flexable. From the questioning of the person using SoM the beliefs can be guided. It can also be assumed that the if there is a high degree of transferance going on (and high rapport as in a teacher-student relationship) that the belief will move closer to that of the person using the SoM.
I will offer you some examples here on sleight of mouth. I will use three different (complex/equivlence Cause/effect) examples and apply various slight of mouth patterns to them. I will apply numbers to these examples of slight of mouth, but only for the convience of seperation here in this post. When you have learned these patterns behavioirly, and have them installed at a more unconscious level, they can be used in any order.
Examples
Someone says....
1. "Your yelling at people means you are a bad person."
2. "Cancer causes death."
3. "Your being late means you don't care about me"
1. METAFRAME ON EQUIVALENCE:
(Your yelling at people means you are a bad person)
a. I'm the only one who cares enough to do what it takes to be helpful.
b. You just said that because you have yet to realize just how helpful yelling can be at times.
c. I don't know? What would you do when you see a child about to run in front of a moving car? Whisper softly?
2. CHANGE FRAME SIZE/CONTEXT
(Your yelling at people means you are a bad person)
a. I can understand how your not having all of the facts about why I had to yell, could have caused you to say that.
b. No! But it's perfectly alright for you to so sharply criticize me?
(Your being late means you don't care about me)
c. Judging by the loving response I am receiving from you now, I ought to have risked life and limb just to get here on time?
3. APPLY TO SELF
(Your being late means you don't care about me)
a. What an uncaring thing for you to say to me!
b. No you tell me?!? If you really cared about me you certainly would have told me this sooner!
4. INTENT
(Cancer causes death)
a. Your intent to protect any false hope is wonderful, but do you really want to eliminate all hope completely?
(Your being late means you don't care about me)
b. I didn't intend to be late or uncaring, but rather to make certain that when I did get here, I didn't take any of my work home with me.
5. REALITY STRATEGY
(Your being late means you don't care about me)
a. I'm not sure how it is you have drawn that conclusion. Are you? I'm curious? How did
you do it?
b. How would you know if it wasn't true?
6. COUNTER EXAMPLE
(Your being late means you don't care about me)
a. Have you ever been late and still cared?
b. Have you ever been on time and not cared?
c. Always? Have you never heard of anyone who had had cancer, but survived?
7. REDEFINE on VALUES/BELIEFS
(Cancer causes death)
a. Cancer doesn't cause death, it causes people to reexamine their lives.
b. Belief like that are dangerous, removing all hope of survival.
c. It's not that cancer causes death, but rather some of the treatments currently used cause
the body to become weak.
8. ABSURD FRAME
(Your being late means you don't care about me)
a. Wow! Now that I have been late, I have lost my ability to care about you ..ever again.
Is there any way I can be fixed? Or should I simply kill myself right now?!?
9. CHUNK UP
(CANCER CAUSES DEATH)
a. You are only saying that because you are not fully familiar with how the body functions
on a cellular level, considering the exact functioning of the immune system, and how that relates to it functioning as it deals with some small diseased part of the body.
b. Considering our entire relationship through time, this one instance of my having been late means nothing more, or less, than my having been late.
9. MODEL OF THE WORLD
(Your yelling at people means you are a bad person)
a. How interesting you should say that. Growing up in my family, yelling at someone was a way of showing how much you cared. It's fascinating the cultural differences, even from people who can live right next door to one another.
( CANCER CAUSES DEATH)
b. Thats funny you should say that. Many Doctors today are of the belief that cancer is not what kills, but the weakened immune systems ability to fight it off. That is why so many people are successfully overcoming cancer. The doctors are now thinking more holistically, as they are finding new ways to help strengthen the immune system.
10. REDEFINE ON CAUSE/EVIDENCE
(Your being late means you don't care about me)
a. I didn't start off late, I was delayed on my way here.
11. ANOTHER OUTCOME
(CANCER CAUSES DEATH)
a. You can spend your time thinking about what causes death, me, I would rather spend
my time thinking of the many ways I can improve my own health and well being. Ever think about spending your time doing that?
(Your being late means you don't care about me)
b. Sure, it can mean that, but the real issue is that you are feeling hurt. Is there any way you can think of that will help you move past this? Let's explore what the possibilities can be so that you can get onto enjoying the time that you do have with me.
12. CRITERIA
(Your yelling at people means you are a bad person)
a. Do you not think it is more important to hide your true feelings rather than to share them openly?
13.CHUNK DOWN
(Your being late means you don't care about me)
a. How late do I have to be before you start feeling bad?
b. How specifically am I not caring about you?
c. Exactly which cancers are you referring to here?
